I'm HUNGRIEEE.....I'm COLD.....

Nope, dun get me wrong, i m not the hungry ghost, despite this month being the "hungry ghost month" (7th lunar month in Chinese calendar).

These days i felt hungry easily, perhaps of the cold weather? When my stomach growls, i will "hunt" for food...over the internet.

And i stumbled upon this Hainanese chicken rice...Aha! my favorite!

*Droolin'

How i wish it is served rite in front of me now....

Surviving

Every living being here is a survival, whether or not they can survive long will largely depends on their sustanability...towards challenges.

I'm glad that i have gone thru it, though the challenges keep on comin'. And i m pleased to have done a good job, at least to my expectation.

Well, there was jst too much things happening around that boost up my confidence, not just about performance-wise, but also management skills and decision making.

To count my blessings, i have a list here, somethin' for me to ponder upon to cheer up my life whenever i'm down...

1. Big boss (of "Director" ranking) came back this week after a month away, and somehow, i was anxious for fearing that he might pick on me for my mistake (which i may not know). But, instead of the negative thought that i have, i was surprise that he didn't. In fact, i was called upon to join the management meeting, and to contribute some say in the meeting. Such an honour!
2. Big boss started to speak to me directly regarding happenings in the team, he is treating me as if i'm a trusted sources to relay info to the lower level. And he spoke nicely to me, with full respect and even offering some e-books for my references.
3. Perhaps my current sucking direct boss may have felt treated on this whole situation? Anyhow, that is not my concern, somehow, he should already knw by now that i m valuable and can't be simply treated rudely (like how he treat others).
4. I was given the 'honour' to try my skill in writing management report and to submit to big boss...Was glad to have this responsibility!
5. Managed to juggle between management and own worktasks...submitting deliverables on time.
6. Was again honoured that even a manager from other dept is seeking my help.
7. My trick on projecting a good & efficient 'image' works, both to my direct boss and big boss. At least they dun tink i m a late-stayer all the time!
8. Made a good decision on which group to join for today's lunch...coz the other site was like spending over $50++ for a simple meal!
9. Managed to install whatapps & barcode scanner in my mobile.
10. I have some good colleague who supports me all the time.
11. My sucking direct bos being teased by big boss for being bad taste! And thankfully i did not follow the big group for their luncheon. I was having my first ever indian vegetarian buffet lunch with a "better group" for only $8++. No regrets.

Farewell to a dear Colleague

Been working at my current office for quite some time and somehow this was the first time i took a complete picture with the team. It used to be just a few of us in the office, but somehow on that day the entire team was in, hence the group looks huge, than usual.

Well, if not for somebody's farewell, we wouldn't take the picture. I'd say she is lucky coz not only we organized a photo session with her but also a farewell lunch too, despite only working here for about half a year. 

Sometimes i wish to be that outgoing, outspoken and being well recognized, and isn't it great that a colleague organized someting like this for me too (if i m to leave)...

yes, is about being well accepted in a group, but somehow, i may shy away if i m to knw someone is planning an event dedicated for me. Such as contradiction!

Weariness

Before i proceed to blog about my weariness, let me jst show you another God's wonderful creation,  

the  nature...

This was taken at dawn @ Broga Hills

about to sunrise, a new beginning...

Alrite, back to my story. Sometimes, i wish to turn over anew leaf, being a completely positive and dynamic person as i ever wish for. But deep down inside, i was being hold back, by a low self-esteem me. And seeing someone who is so capable  made me even more upset for myself. Well, i may look successful (in a way), cheerful and positive, but again i m so darn lacking in one thing - that is CONFIDENCE and the ability to socialize. And recently i was being so darn upset being labelled as NO LIFE and lacking ability to COMMUNICATE. These 2 words is enuff to drag my esteem down to ravine, full of thorns.

I m indeed lacking expressiveness, but i m trying hard to catch up, though i sound more like being bold & direct most of the time.

And somehow i hate that the comment was from him. All these while he sees me as a total failure??? Duh! I dun wish to appear 'tiny' and 'incapable' in front of him. I want to be seen as a classy, elegant, nice-to-approach-person, and somewhat intellectual, someone who is full of charisma. But now i m at the losing end. I felt like a loser. It 'seems' (or I 'felt') as if i have lose out to my "unknown" competitor.

I hope i could proof him wrong, but again i wish he could be patient enuff to wait. Will he?